So many little girls (and big girls!) dream of being a mom. Stay at home all day, snuggle babies, do fun activities, etc? Sounds like a dream, right?
If you’re reading this, you’re likely a stay at home mom, and you know that this role can be HARD.
Many of us feel so blessed to be in the position where we can be home full-time with our babies, but we also struggle with loneliness, isolation, exhaustion or maybe even depression.
Being a mom in today’s world can be very isolating! Especially if you’re the first one in your friend group to have babies, or don’t have a great local community.
The good news is that you CAN love being a stay at home mom again! Even if you’re feeling burnt out or resentful right now, there’s still hope.
TAKE TIME FOR HOBBIES
So many moms get lost in motherhood and forget what they liked to do with their free-time before they had a baby. Depending on what types of hobbies you have, there’s a good chance they might not be practical with a baby.
But there are also so many hobbies you CAN do with little ones! Or there are ways you can modify your hobbies to fit your new lifestyle as a mama.
You may need to accept that your hobby will look different with babies around. It might be slower, messier, or shorter periods of time. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Hobbies may seem like a luxury, but when we don’t make time for the things we love we end up feeling depressed or resentful!
CONSIDER A PASSION PROJECT
A passion project is almost like a hobby on steroids!
It could be building a side business (blogging, flipping furniture, selling baked goods), renovating a room in your home, or training for a marathon.
A passion project is something that will help you feel excited to get up in the morning. It is more goal oriented than a hobby which can help when your days feel monotonous.
A true passion project is something that you strongly want to do. When your baby is napping, or the kids are playing happily you can’t wait to spend a few minutes on it. When you’re otherwise exhausted from momming all day – you have a new found energy for it.
FIND COMMUNITY
Meaningful community has become harder and harder to find in our modern, technological world. Although we’re more connected than ever, many stay at home moms find themselves isolated and lonely. Deep rooted, long term friendships are hard to come by, and even harder to maintain.
We oftentimes underestimate the importance of community. It’s not a luxury, but a necessity.
We were never meant to raise babies on our own. We were meant to do it in community – with our village!
If you don’t have a community of like-minded women, I’d strongly encourage you actively pursue one.
Unless you’re an extreme extrovert, this will most likely bring you out of your comfort zone! You will have to reach out to other moms, show up where you know no one else, and put in the work to make friends.
Some of my favourite places to meet other moms:
- Homeschool groups
- Local facebook groups (A gold mine!!!)
- Church groups
- Ask an existing friend if they have anyone they can connect you with
- Children’s play places
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
Getting out of the house with kids is a LOT of work. Sometimes I just don’t end up leaving the house for days! But I know that getting out, seeing other people and having a change of scenery is so helpful for my mental health.
Even if you’re a homebody like myself, it’s important to occasionally get a break from your home!
SPEND TIME OUTDOORS
One of the best ways to get out of the house is spending time outdoors!
Even if you’re not “outdoorsy”, spending time in nature is important for your mental and physical health.
If your kids aren’t used to spending time outdoors every day, this may be challenging at first. You might expect to hear some whining and complaining as your kids learn how to entertain themselves outside.
If you find the weather stopping you from getting outside, I highly recommend reading this book. It really changed my opinion on outdoor time.
ASK FOR HELP
Many women feel that the kids, house, and chores are 100% their responsibility because they’re the one at home with them all day. But those who have done it know that running a household, raising babies, and doing ALL THE THING is equivalent to several full-time jobs.
I’ve worked many full-time jobs, and not one of them was as taxing as being a full-time mama.
Put aside your pride and have a conversation with your spouse, or other people in your life about how responsibilities can be split up and where you need help.
If you don’t have a spouse, or if they aren’t available/willing to help then be creative in other ways you can ask for help. Maybe your mom/sister can take your kids one morning a week. Maybe you can take turns watching each other’s kids with another local mom friend. Maybe hiring some help is an option.
Put aside the idea that you should be able to do everything without feeling overwhelmed.
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